It’s been said that grief levels the playing field in life. It is a normal process of reacting to the loss we will be faced with in life. Sometimes, we may need to grieve several things at once.

Loss is everywhere; the loss of a loved one, a job, changes in our health, income, moving to a new area, divorce, children leaving the home, and the list goes on.

So, what does this normal process look like?

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are 5 Stages of grief:

Loss is everywhere; the loss of a loved one, a job, changes in our health, income, moving to a new area, divorce, children leaving the home, and the list goes on.
  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance.

Though the grief process doesn’t necessarily occur in this order, the various steps help us process our thoughts, emotions and physical reactions to the loss. Experts say it is healthy for us to go through as many steps as possible to come to terms with the loss.

What if you couldn’t process this grief because the circumstances surrounding your loss were so cloaked in shame that it was forbidden?

What if you had experienced an abortion and were not told of the horrific emotional, physical and psychological ramifications of this decision?

Suppose some of the feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion, you tried to hide, were too big and poured over into sleep disturbances, loss of motivation, self-punishing behavior, eating disorders, alcohol and/or drug abuse, promiscuity or frigidity, tolerating abusive relationships, cutting, or thoughts of suicide.

How would you handle this avalanche of emotions? 

Personally, I have walked this road and have struggled with various emotions that stem from this regretful decision.

After attending a Bible Study at the Santa Clarita Valley Pregnancy Center, I was able to forgive myself and appreciate the enormous love and compassion of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Paul clearly tells us in Romans 8:1, “There is no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus.”

Again in Hebrews 8:12 , God says, “He will remember our sins no more.”

Though the grief never completely goes away, His word has changed my perspective on how I am viewed by my Heavenly Father.

The Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, and bring liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners.
— Isaiah 61:1

The SCV Pregnancy Center,  believes you need time set apart for you to heal. We offer a Post-Abortion Counseling Program (PACE) to guide you through this needed journey and discover the great promises of our Merciful God.

It’s a, small group format, 11-week Bible Study that uses the scripture guided book by Linda Cochrane, “Forgiven and Set Free”. The Chapters deal with the subjects of: How Do I know Where I need Healing?, The Character of God, Relief and Denial,  Anger, The Need to Forgive, Depression, Forgiven & Set Free and Acceptance. Each week offers greater hope.

The book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, tells us there is an appropriate time to process these major events in our life:

"there is a time for every event under heaven, A time to give birth ... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance."

You do not have to walk this road alone any longer.

If you would like to talk about this confidentially, I am available to meet with you. It is my privilege to guide you on your journey of mental, emotional and spiritual health.  Call the SCV Pregnancy Center at 661-255-0084 and ask about the PACE Program or leave a message for Sally Betters. 

- Sally Betters