JEN LORD | CARE PASTOR

JEN LORD | CARE PASTOR

I’m in an interesting season in my life.  I don’t hear the Lord giving me a lot of direction on certain things I’m asking Him about.  There’s nothing bad going on, I’m not facing crisis or deep trials.  I just don’t know what He’s doing next in my soul.

I’m a person who likes to know what’s coming next.  I like to have a plan and then get busy doing whatever my part is so that the plan will come to pass.   I like knowing where things are headed in my life, an understanding of what God is saying.

In years past when I have been in this type of season where I’m not sure what God is saying, I have handled my uncertainty and questions with busyness.

By busyness, I mean if I could do enough right things, obey God enough, then I could somehow get God to move me on to the next season.  In my impatience, because God wasn’t moving quickly enough to meet my timetable, I was trying to see what I could do to move things along.

I wasn’t obeying God out of love, but out of a desire to get what I thought was on the other side of my obedience.

If I could do enough right things, obey God enough, then I could somehow get God to move me on to the next season

Can I tell you that this plan has never once worked?  I mean our obedience always is important and brings blessing with it.  But when my motive is to use obedience to get God to move the way I want Him to – well, that’s a whole other thing.

The word that continues to ring loudly in my head these days is “surrender”.  I must surrender to this season God has me in.  A season of quietness, of letting go of what I think should be happening, of releasing my agenda for His.

Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

I am having to surrender and wait on God until He speaks to me.  And I will tell you, like this verse says, it takes bravery and courage for me to wait on God. 

Bravery and courage to wait?  Why?

Because I am fighting my tendencies to take things in my own hands.  I am refusing to medicate the angst in my soul that wants answers now.  I am living with the tension that exists in not having answers.  I am refusing to be busy trying to get myself into the next season.  I am bravely waiting.

I am also learning that there is joy in waiting on God alone.  And not just waiting on Him to answer.  Waiting with Him, as He helps me to surrender to Him.  He is giving me more of Himself, more of His view of my season of waiting, not what’s next to come.

I am refusing to medicate the angst in my soul that wants answers now. I am living with the tension that exists in not having answers.

And I don’t want to miss what God does want to do in me during this time. This ordained wait is meant to shape me for what’s to come and is as important as when God does give me the answers I’m looking for.

Are you waiting to hear from God about things in your life?  I encourage you - don’t just look for answers.  Look for God Himself.  He is waiting on us to come to Him in our season of waiting.  

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