Turning Hearts – Pastor Tim Salzarulo – The Sanctuary

GRIEF...

Grief is an important, normal response to the loss of any significant object, dream, and/or person in a teen’s life. It is an experience of deprivation and anxiety which can show itself physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. Whenever a part of a teens life is removed there will be grief in their life. Grief can be devastating, but sometimes more so for a teen, due to both the reactions of others and to their own age and relative immaturity. “In general, counseling professionals agree that, while grief is natural, understandable, and necessary, it is not always healthy. Normal grief, which can be quite sever, often involves intense sorrow, pain, loneliness, anger, depression, physical symptoms and changes in interpersonal relations, all of which compromise a period of deprivation and transition that may last for as long as three years or more.” “Normal grief, while sometimes extremely painful-even exlplosive-runs fairly predictable lines and leads eventually to restored mental and emotional well-being. The widely acclaimed work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has chronicled the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The cause of grief in a teen’s life could be almost anything. Basically if they felt emotionally attached and that attachment is gone for any reason, they feel grief. It is up to us to assess the depth of grief and help them navigate through the stages of grief. Many teens in UTURN have experienced different levels of grief, from break ups, loss of a pet, divorce, to loss of a loved one. My hope is to see them fulfilled in Christ, no matter how small or big the issue that arises in their life, and it is important to create an atmosphere of grace, mercy and understanding, where all of our leaders are aware of what is going on in our teens lives and injecting Jesus into it. Not being cheesy but being honest about the times we struggled with grief, and how Jesus helped us through it, and empathize with them. As parents it is important to remember the grieving process and remember that it is normal, and to help lead your teens through it healthy, running to Jesus, and letting him fill their "emptiness" and "pain." Please remember that just because you have experienced (and more) what they are going through, it is their first time, and seems like "the worst thing ever." Love them, listen to them, walk with them, PRAY for them, be quiet for them (even if you saw it coming, i know that one is the hardest), and just HOLD them. Love you all. Pastor Tim

UTURN Winter Camp is here!!!

UTURN winter camp is here!!!! Check out uturning.com for all the info you will need!!

Making a nuclear Christmas...

Every year during the Christmas season we in UTURN take on a big gift giving project to serve those around us. We have partnered with Angel Tree, The Santa Clarita food pantry, and an orphanage in Belize and have given over $5,000 in gifts over the last three years, and this year is no different. We have decided to focus on widows and orphans (James 1:27) in our congregation, The Sanctuary. We have 3 families, 7 kids, for one reason, to share the overwhelming blessing of God as we "bomb these families with blessings" making it a nuclear Christmas for them. As parents I want to make you aware of this, so you know why your teen will be rising money, spending savings, and possibly not asking for gifts, but just to give these gifts (this has happened every year so far). The teens will be receiving lists, and items to purchase, or going with their small group leader and small group to purchase the gifts together, and turning them in, WRAPED, by Sunday December 18th. Please don't just give your teens the money, but make them sweat for it, I want them to feel some sort of sacrifice, and give because they want to, not because it is convenient. I hope you are as excited as I and many of our teens are. Love you all. Pastor Tim

Receive. Reject. Redeem.

How do we navigate culture as Christians? How do we teach our teens to make wise decisions about worldly issues? How do we discern "non-Biblical" issues? I have been confronted with this issue my whole life. So what? A pastor I highly respect, Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill church, Seattle Washington, gave me some insight into this issue. He gives three very simple words to filter whatever the world produces: Receive...Reject...Redeem... Receive. We just accept it as it is... It is good to consume "as is," it probably won't affect us spiritually either way. I would call this a conscience matter, it's not clearly anti-Biblical. Reject. This is a clearly anti-Biblical issue. Something that goes against a specific command. Redeem. This is something that could have been in the reject category, but can be redeemed to proclaim the Gospel. This is what I call a Paul in Greece moment (Acts 17), where Paul takes an idol of an unknown God and redeems it for the gospel, he even quotes famous poets to speak to them using terms they know to share the nature and love of God. As a result, there are some that are saved. We need to be practicing this ourselves, as well as teaching our teens how to decent for themselves. What do we do when they are gone? Teach them now and today...

Do you know...

What do your teens think about Salvation? God's love? Our response to Him? The Trinity? Heaven? Hell? Who really is Jesus? What is so important about Jesus? Why does it matter? What is worship? What is service? Joy? Forgiveness? Justice? The Bible as inerrant? Is it? Faith vs. Works? I know most of our conversations are based around R ratted movies, video games, the opposite sex, dating, $$$, school, sports, colleges, etc. I want to challenge you in that... The second list IS temporal, it all will be gone when He returns, I know they seem important, but the first list is much more important... We need to know why we believe what we believe, why we go to church, why we date, why we go to school, why we chose to worship what we worship. We all worship, but what? And if we can't or don't talk about Him, do we worship Him? Is He our priority? Not "how was church," but... I don't know... That is up to you, but please bring your conversations to the hard place, take them there, they need you to challenge them in their understanding of the mysteries of God; His goodness, forgiveness, justice, mercy, punishment, care, etc. And if you don't know why...

Death & Taxes...

This is an image I found on Amazon... It can be a great conversation starter for those of you parents with teens in any kind of government class. The poster cost $19.00, but if you click around on Amazon you can get the gist of it. I realize (through various convorsations) that many of our teens are clueless to budgeting and finances. We need to start the convorsations, and help implament good giving, saving, and spending habbits in them early. It takes time, but this poster could help get the conversation going. God bless you and please be praying for our nation!! _Pastor Tim

Why do I do the things I hate?

I really wrestle through that statement that Paul made in Romans chapter 7... especially for my life. I really went through a phase that I used that as an excuse for my sin and why I continued to struggle with it. But it can't be an excuse (don't keep sinning Paul says) so why say it? For me, I don't want to just hate the affects of the sin in my life (I eat too much I gain weight, get angry and yell and my neighbor hears and I am embarrassed, etc.) but truly hate my sin because God hates it. If we really hate our sin like God, we will run to Jesus and live in the Spirit so we don't give in to it. We will fight with all vigilance the sin that so easily ensnares and entangles us. We will run too Jesus and confess to others our sin, we will choke out the life of sin in our life, one at a time. Words that empower and build me up I want to share with you; "And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9. Fight the good fight, and persevere for His Glory. My prayer for you. _pastor Tim

Mixed messages…

My dad used to tell me how his dad used to tell him to never smoke, as he was puffing off of his cigarette. But we would never do anything like that, right?

I constantly have to evaluate my actions vs. my words and what message I am communicating. Like the old saying, our actions speak louder than words.

As parents we need to be extremely carful of our actions and how those we influence interpret those actions.

A quick story:

I heard once that a parent who had a 13 year old son that was letting his “friend” who happened to be a girl that he liked, come over and just hang. The parents were very clear, “you are not aloud to date, or have a girlfriend.”

The son heard what the parent said in word, but his emotions, and physical closeness to his “non-girl friend”, was ever increasing, because of the close proximity he was allowed to have (while still being told they were not dating or boyfriend and girlfriend). So when the son got caught having inappropriate conversations with her over text and facebook, dad and mom were furious, and could not believe that he could mistreat their trust that way.

Ouch, was this really his fault? Sure? But at 13, does he know? We expect or hope they do, but if we don’t teach them the lion can bite, they will walk in ignorance into the trap that we have not guarded or warned them about.

It’s kind of like not warning our children the lion in the cage could bite/ or devour them, but hey if we are watching, what harm could come?

Please, dad and mom, be careful about what you say vs. your actions and what you allow. It can make or break your relationship with your teen. They REALLY want to have conversations with you, they really want to be told what to do, they REALLY, REALLY want you IN their life.

Grace and Peace to you. _pastor Tim

contagious...

When your sick everyone around you seem to know about it, or you make it very clear. work, friends, family, & even strangers. you cover your mouth, your extremely cautious to what or who you touch. everything you do that day is filtered through the fact that you are sick and infectious, and the possibility that every person you are in contact with could become adversely affected.
now…
what do we do with the fact that we (Christians) have been infected with the contagious love of God through Jesus Christ. should that filter everything we do, or every person we come into contact with? should we assume or plan that every interaction could be covered in the beautiful disease of God’s amazing Grace and Mercy? the question…
ARE YOU CONTAGIOUS?

_Pastor Tim

The fight for right...

Our lives as parents are filled with everything... I mean everything. When we get home, "put a fork in me I'm done." I get it, I understand, the mental overload from the day is crazy, so when your teen comes home, and you have just received their progress report, your wife pointed out to you the picture of your daughter on Facebook, and the simple chore you have asked 5 times to get done is still not done, WHAT DO YOU DO?????

Your response is everything.

And I know it usually depends on their response first, but your response still is the most important.

So?

Stop.

Pray.

Think.

Pray.

Then respond, not react to the root issue, the real problem.

When we react, we begin to deal with them on their level, but our best approach is to lead them to the right response, their ownership of their sin, and repentance. No excuses, no blame shifting, etc. Just good old fashioned repentance, I have sinned, God forgive me, Dad forgive me, Mom forgive me, and I want to change, can you help me.

This will not happen overnight, but if you are consistent, and diligent, and walk this process out on your own, you can win their hearts, and get the right responses from your teen.

I just want to let you know, I am constantly praying for you and your teens, ALL THE TIME!!! You are loved. Grace and Peace to you.

_Pastor Tim

“Why Jesus?” by Katie Ellithorpe

Katies words below:

Why Jesus? Two words, easy to spell but always different stories. Well, mine starts at Jr. High-like most of these unfortunate tales. This one girl seemed so nice but then she started hanging out with the wrong people. She was not the same and that pretty much affected me. She would say nasty things about me. She would tell people lies that weren’t true at all. I wanted Jesus to end her life. Literally. It had so much of an effect on me that I was thinking suicidal thoughts, and I was harming myself and my relationship with Jesus. Then came the news about our move. All of a sudden, I had problems and rumors and issues thrown at me, like a kid who can’t catch a baseball. I couldn’t catch them to solve them. I was blaming Jesus for everything that happened to me. Then I told my bestest friends, who are like my sisters, and helped me see Jesus again. One in particular said, “You shouldn’t run away. He is waiting for you to run back to Him.” As soon as I heard that, I went home and I asked God, “I haven’t run away I have just put you on a dusty shelf.” He said, “Then take Me off. I know you have come to ask for my forgiveness. And I do. I always will, my child.” I fell to my knees and cried. That was the first time I had ever run away form Him. Now I am talking the path back.

WOW!! How honest and convicting is that for us. Please remember to keep praying for our teens. God Bless you. _Pastor Tim

New Jr. High parents in UTURN

We have a meeting this coming Sunday from 1-3 and we will be discussing and talking about all of UTURN, my self, and I get to hear from each of you. Every year this meeting is important, and has been beneficial to the parents who have attended. I believe in this meeting so much that I provide child care and lunch for all. Please RSVP to info@uturning.com, but if you don’t RSVP, it is still ok if you attend. It is just good if I get a count so I can purchase food for the meeting. Thanks. Grace and Peace to you. _Pastor Tim

Why Jesus?

For the next few weeks we will explore the person of Jesus Christ. We are looking at eight specific aspects of Jesus on Wednesday nights:

1. He said He came from Heaven (John 6:38).

2. He is more than a good man. He is the God Man (Mark 10:17-18).

3. Jesus performed miracles (John 10:36-39).

4. Jesus said that He is sinless (John 8:46).

5. Jesus said that he is God (John 10:30-33).

6. Jesus forgives sin Mark 2:5-7).

7. Jesus said he is the only way to heaven (John 14:6).

8. Jesus said he would resurrect from death (Mark 8:31).

It is vital to the spiritual survival of our teens that they understand on a deep level “Why Jesus.” All major religions agree upon the statement that “Jesus was a good man.” But that is not going to save them. Our teens need to understand that Jesus took upon Himself the wrath of God that we deserved and that ultimately God has saved us from Himself. I have a strong conviction to communicate the Holiness of Jesus, and the desire for Holiness God seeks and how we find that in Jesus.

Please pray that our teens are transformed, and “walk-out their salvation with fear and trembling.”

Love you all

Pastor Tim

5 ways to make your kids hate church...

by: Thomas Weaver, RT www.TheResurgence.com

1. Make sure your faith is only something you live out in public
Go to church... at least most of the time. Make sure you agree with what you hear the preacher say, and affirm on the way home what was said especially when it has to do with your kids obeying, but let it stop there. Don’t read your Bible at home. The pastor will say everything you need to hear on Sundays. Don’t engage your children in questions they have concerning Jesus and God. Live like you want to live during the week so that your kids can see that duplicity is ok.

2. Pray only in front of people
The only times you need to pray are when your family is over, holiday meals, when someone is sick, and when you want something. Besides that, don’t bother. Your kids will see you pray when other people are watching, no need to do it with them in private.

3. Focus on your morals
Make sure you insist your kids be honest with you. Let them know it is the right thing for them to do, but then feel free to lie in your own life and disregard the need to tell them and others the truth. Get very angry with your children when they say words that are “naughty” and “bad”, but post, read, watch, and say whatever you want on TV, Facebook, and Twitter. Make sure you focus on being a good person. Be ambiguous about what this means.

4. Give financially as long as it doesn’t impede your needs
Make a big deal out of giving at church. Stress the need to your children the value of tithing, while not giving sacrificially yourself. Allow them to see you spend a ton of money on what you want, while negating your command from Scripture to give sacrificially.

5. Make church community a priority...
as long as there is nothing else you want to do
Hey, you are a church going family, right? I mean, that’s what you tell your friends and family anyways. Make sure you attend on Sundays. As long as you didn’t stay up too late Saturday night. Or your family isn’t having a big barbeque. Or the big game isn’t on. Or this week you just don’t feel like it. Or... I mean, you're a church-going family, so what’s the big deal?
—------------------------------------------------
I know this sounds harsh but we have to understand what we do and how our kids translate our actions.

Love you all. Pastor Tim.

The Foundation: Week 17

The Foundation: Week 16

How much we actualy influence our teens...

I was sent the link to the blog post below and wow!!! All I could hear in the back of my head was Paul saying “follow me as I follow Christ” and what that means for us as influencers of our teens. Check out the re-blog below…

Teenagers’ preferences and tastes greatly influence America’s cultural identity. The people teenagers look up to as their role models matter a great deal in determining the shape and substance of the next generation of churchgoers, consumers and citizens. A study conducted by Barna Group among a national sample of teenagers gives new insight into whom teens select as their role models and why those individuals captured their attention.

The Question
The nationwide sample of teenagers asked 13- to 17-year-olds to identify the person whom they admire most today as a role model, other than their parents. A follow-up question probed the reasons they define that person as a role model. (David Kinnaman, who directed the study, explained that parents were left out of the assessment because so many teenagers—particularly younger ones—have high regard for their parents or feel compelled to list their parents as role models. Previous research shows that mentioning parents is almost an automatic response for many.)

The "Who"
So who do teenagers name as their role models? Even while limiting the answers to non-parents, family members still comes out on top. The most commonly mentioned role model is a relative—37% of teens named a relation other than their parent as the person they admire most. This is typically a grandparent, but also includes sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, and uncles.

After “family,” teens mention teachers and coaches (11%), friends (9%), and pastors or other religious leaders they know personally (6%).

Notice that a majority of teens indicated that the people they most admire and imitate are those with whom they maintain a personal connection, friendship, or interaction.

Beyond the realm of the people they know personally, entertainers (including musicians and actors) were named by 6% of teens, followed by sports heroes (5%), political leaders (4%), faith leaders (4%), business leaders (1%), authors (1%), science and medical professionals (1%), other artists (1%), and members of the military (1%).

The high-profile leaders most commonly named were President Obama (3%) and Jesus Christ (3%). Other “celebrities” mentioned by multiple teenagers in the study included entertainers Tyra Banks, Rob Dyrdrek, Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Paul McCartney, Taylor Swift, Steven Spielberg and Oprah Winfrey. The only athletes who earned multiple mentions were LeBron James, Peyton Manning, Michael Phelps, Mike Tyson and David Wright. In the spiritual domain, besides Jesus, teens were most likely to admire Mahatma Gandhi and the Pope. Social and business leaders garnering teen attention included Walt Disney, Bill Gates, and Martin Luther King, Jr. The writers who captured the imagination of teens included Yumi Tamura (Japanese Manga artist) and Alan Moore (English comic book writer).

The "Why"
Respondents described a wide range of reasons why they named a particular role model. The most common rationale (26%) was the personality traits of that person (e.g., caring about others, being loving and polite, being courageous, and being fun were some of the characteristics mentioned most often). Another factor in teens’ thinking was finding someone to emulate (22%) or that the teen would like to “follow in the footsteps” of their chosen role model.
Encouragement is another reason for teens’ selections (11%), which included those who said the individual “helps me be a better person,” is someone who is “always there for me,” and is the person who is “most interested in my future.” Other reasons: the role model accomplished his or her goals (13%), overcame adversity (9%), works hard (7%), is intelligent (7%), performs humanitarian effort and activism (6%), maintains strong faith (6%), has great talent (5%), and exudes self-confidence (1%). Although not listed often, some teens identified wealth (3%), self-sufficiency (1%), and fame (1%) as the reasons for preferring a specific leader or role model.

The study pointed out that relatives were most often esteemed because of goals accomplished, personality traits, and overcoming adversity, while friends were most highly regarded because of the encouragement and support they provide the teen. Faith leaders received recognition because of their strong spiritual convictions, their moral lifestyles, and because the teen hopes to pattern their lives like these leaders. Coaches and teachers also made the grade because teens hope to follow their lifestyles and because of the encouragement coaches and educators dole out.

Not surprisingly, entertainers and sports figures are recognized most often for their talent. However, the profiles of the two types of celebrities diverge from there. Entertainers earned teens’ attention not only with their humanitarian efforts but also with fashion and money. In contrast, sports stars scored points with teens based on their accomplishments as well as their ability to overcome adversity.

The most common reasons teens admired President Obama were his hard work and self-confidence. Jesus connects with teens because of his concern for others and being an example to follow.

What it Says
Kinnaman, who is president of the Barna Group, offered four insights about the current mindset of teenagers based on the findings:

1. For better and worse, teens are emulating the people they know best. More than two out of three teens identify people they know personally as their primary role model. Many parents and youthworkers fret about the role models of the next generation. Yet, one reason to remain hopeful about the development of young people is their reliance upon the people they know best: friends, relatives, teachers, pastors, and coaches. At the same time, that reality underscores the insistence of many parents that they influence the people with whom their child associates, in order to be sure that their kids are surrounded by people modeling positive values and life choices.

2. Teenagers’ role models reveal that teens want to get ahead, accomplish goals, overcome obstacles… and be encouraged along the way. For all the talk about the social consciousness of the next generation, their role models are rarely selected because of a person’s service or sacrifice for others. Young people, like most other Americans, choose their role models because those people are achievers and because they help teenagers feel better about themselves. None of these aspirations is necessarily misguided, but the focus tends to be uniquely American: on tasks and self, rather than on God and others.

3. Spirituality is only of modest concern to the aspirations of most teens. Teens rarely identified spiritual mentors. Moreover, few teens consider issues of faith, religion or morality when deciding whom they will try to emulate. Even among young Christians, their role models are virtually no different than other teenagers. (The only exception is an expected outcome: those teens actively involved in a church are slightly more likely to identify a spiritual or faith leader as one of their models.) While other Barna research shows that teens are active spiritually, that behavior generally does not influence the “who” and the “why” of teens’ role models.

4. Outside of their personal relationships, teen role models reflect a broadening mindset.The next generation selects its heroes from a wide spectrum of both people discovered through both the global stage and micro-niches. The menu of celebrities crosses multiple sectors, ranging from skateboarders and MTV hosts to international graphic novel artists, scholars, social innovators and historic leaders; from teen idols to celebrities who came of age in the 1960s. The eclectic nature of the role models they embrace is not new but the diversity of pools from which they choose those models is atypical. Their choices are substantially affected by media imagery and exposure.

About the Research
This report is based upon nationwide survey, conducted by Barna Group with random samples of teenagers, ages 13 to 17. The study, known as YouthPoll?, is an annual tracking study, conducted online, using one of the nation’s only nationally representative online panels. The survey included interviews with 602 teens. The sample has a maximum margin of sampling error of ±4.1 percentage points at the 95% confidence level. Minimal statistical weighting was used to calibrate the sample to known population percentages in relation to demographic variables.

Barna Group (which includes its research division, the Barna Research Group) is a private, non-partisan, for-profit organization that conducts primary research, produces media resources pertaining to spiritual development, and facilitates the healthy spiritual growth of leaders, children, families and Christian ministries. Located in Ventura, California, Barna has been conducting and analyzing primary research to understand cultural trends related to values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors since 1984.

If you would like to receive free e-mail notification of the release of each new, bi-monthly update on the latest research findings from the Barna Group, you may subscribe to this free service at the Barna website (www.barna.org). Additional research-based resources are also available through this website.

The Foundation: Week 14

The Foundation: Week Eleven

The worst thing I ever ate…

In China town, downtown Los Angeles, my family and I go to some seriously real Chinese restaurants (my mother in-law was born in Macaw, China). On one occasion I was trying to impress her and offered that I would try anything, so she ordered me some jelly-fish, OH MY GOODNESS, THE WORST!!!! Texture, taste, and temperature it was all off for me, but she finished it and enjoyed it. Why?

She was used to it, she said that it took her time to get used to it, and now she enjoys it, WHAT?

I look at some sins the same way. If we are introduced to certain sins all at once we would immediately reject it, because in our heart we know it is obviously wrong, but if introduced to that same sin over time in smaller increments we get used to it, and even crave it after awhile, and we no longer recognize it as something to reject.

Go test yourself and see if you are enjoying sins you never used to enjoy and stop it.