When your teen wants to talk to someone will it be you? If not you, who, a friend, a school counselor, me, someone on MySpace or Face Book? My hope it is always you and I want to give you a couple of clues on how to listen to what I like to call open portals of the heart you can squeeze through to peer and have a voice into your teens heart.

How many times have you asked your teen “how’d it go” or “what’s going on”, and you receive a trite answer of “I dunno” “whatever” “nothing”. So many you can’t count right, I get the same answers all the time. You need to watch and listen for the clues that they are ready and want to talk to you. Most of the time the clues are statements like “do you think I am pretty, what do you think I am good at, did you like how I …, how about when I …, what did you do when you were a teen…, what kind of friends did you have…, did you ever try drugs or drinking, who was the first guy you had a crush on…???????? As soon as your teen asks a question about them selves, or you, you are in. At that moment you need to carefully squeeze through the portal too your teens heart. It will not be easy at first, but as you navigate your way through, the payoff will be huge. Your teen will begin to trust you. We have to be so careful not to give a short or long answer. Ask lots of questions and stay interested, and try not to use the time to teach. But rather guide the conversations.

About the clues, those statements will come at some of the most inopportune times, like late at night, after a long day at work, or on a quick drive to the store and when it happens you have to be ready in that moment, not wait till tomorrow, because you will have lost the opportunity.

Be ready in and out of season, listen to the clues, and own their hearts. Love you all. _pastor tim

• Talk with your teens about the dangers of the Internet.
• Teach them to “run at first glance” if they ever come across something questionable, even if they weren’t looking for it.
• Keep computers in open, public places, like the living room. This is the easiest and best way to protect your entire family because it keeps everyone accountable.
• Use an internet filtering service like Net Nanny.
• Build open relationships with your teens by spending quality time with them every day.
• If you’re a youth pastor or work with students, take time to talk with them about the risks of YouTube and other websites.