Winning Kids – CHAMPS

Hindsight is 20-20

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:57:00 GMT

Dan and I just spent 13 days with our Grandson being in town. We were not able to be with him all day everyday, but we spent as much time with him while our daughter, Brenna and son-in-law Paul were in California on vacation. We even kept, William a couple of days while they were on a cruise. (We had joint custody with his other grandparents). Our grandson, William is nearly 21 months old. Now for those of you with children around that age, or any of you who have raised children past that age, you know what 21 months old means. Right?! 21 months means, they can partially communicate with words, they point at things they want, they are clingy, have separation anxiety at times, they throw temper tantrums when they don't get their own way, they can cry for what seems forever, and at the most I opportune times. The give the best hugs, speak to you with their eyes, put their arms up to you to be picked up, don't like their diaper changed and have the attention span of about 20-30 seconds playing with a toy when you have 20-30 minutes of tasks or chores you need to get accomplished! As I spent time with William, I couldn't help but try to remember how his mom was at that age, or my son, Garrett. I remember working full time and being a young mom of 2. Exhausted, frustrated at points and wondering how in the world I would live through this stage of my children's life. I paused at one point in these 13 days and realized I have hindsight! Webster's defines hindsight: perception of the nature of an event after it has happened. Boy do I wish I had it then. The things I worried about, or fought about with my Toddler's, or hills I died on, I would have done so differently. But I couldn't see it then. But.... With William and watching his young parents, I can be encouraging to them and remind them that in 10 years they won't even remember that William had a temper or hated being strapped in a car seat or was stubborn and only wanted Daddy to comfort him. What they will remember is him learning to say I love you and going around the table at dinner and on command asking who people were and listening to him say in his sounding out words each of our names. They will remember him falling asleep and cuddling in their arms and his adorable smile that got him out of trouble many times! Let's use our hindsight to be encouraging to others as we live in community with one another! It may be the very thing a young mom needs to hear at that moment! Can I just say; I LOVE BEING A GRANDMA and being able to see in hindsight?!?!?

RETRAINING THE HEART!

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:23:00 GMT

Retraining the Heart

It’s amazing how transparent children can be when you take time to actively hear what they have to say. After listening for a while, it’s often possible to identify some key thinking errors that perpetuate the child’s problems.

Take some time to study your children. What weaknesses do they have? What lies do they believe? What are some of the unproductive things they’re saying in their hearts? It can be helpful to simply make observations and write them down.

Ask yourself: What does he say when he’s arguing with me? What does she say when she’s angry? What does he mumble under his breath in his room or as he stomps down the hall? How does she report offenses to her friends? How does she rationalize and justify her mistakes? As you listen to your child talk, you’ll get a bigger picture of beliefs, values, and impressions that are guiding behavior.

Matthew 12:34 says, “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” As you learn to listen to your child’s heart, identify target areas that you sense are a problem. Behavior indicates what’s happening inside, so when you see a particular weakness, jot it down on a piece of paper. You might list things like procrastination, pride, fear, gloom and doom, or lack of confidence.

You’ve probably known these character weaknesses were causing problems. By identifying the misconceptions at the root of the behavior, you’ll be ready to do some deeper work in your child’s heart. Once you identify a heart issue that concerns you, then you can develop a strategy or action plan to help your child grow.

DO YOU FOLLOW THE RULES?

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:02:00 GMT

Do you follow the rules? This question makes me cringe! I follow the rules most of the time, but I do have a rebellious streak that cuts right through me. Ask my mom how fun I was to raise between the ages of 13 and 16 when that rebellious streak was in full force! Now that I am a mom, I think a lot about setting a good example for my son and that includes following the rules!

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” We should teach our children what is right and wrong when they are young so that they will have a foundation to stand on throughout their life! Deuteronomy 6:7 says “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” In other words, we are ALWAYS teaching our children. Every moment of the day can be turned into a teaching moment!

This also poses a dilemma for parents. If every moment is a teaching moment, what are we teaching our children when WE don’t follow the rules? Here are some examples: Do you talk or text on your cell phone (without a hands-free device) with your kids in the car? Do you book hotel rooms saying there will only be 2 people in the room, rather than pay the extra rate for having 3 or more people in the room? Do you let your kids use sparklers or set off fireworks on the 4^th of July or New Year’s Eve if your city/county prohibits it? Do you bring outside food/drink into a movie theater even if it is prohibited by the theater? Do you get the free “water cup” at restaurants and put something other than water in it?

So, what do we teach our children when we intentionally break the rules? We are teaching them that it is okay to pick and choose which rules to follow! We are subtlety sending a message that rules don’t always apply to us. As parents, we need to set a better example to our children and that starts with us following the rules.

A guest blog from Brenna Sandeen Round

Parent-Child Conversations on the Gospel

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:28:00 GMT

Kevin DeYoung gives a fairly typical example of what gospel-centered attempts at parenting can look like in action:

Me: What’s the matter son?
Child: I want that toy and he won’t give it to me!
Me: Why do you want the toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What’s going on in your heart when you desire that toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Think about it son. Use your brain. Don’t you know something?
Child: I guess I just want the toy.
Me: Obviously. But why?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Fine. [Mental note: abandon "why" questions and skip straight to leading questions.] Do you think he is having fun playing with the toy right now?
Child: No.
Me: Really?! He’s not having fun? Then why does he want that toy in the first place?
Child: Because he’s mean.
Me: Have you ever considered that maybe you are being mean by trying to rip the toy from his quivering little hands?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What do you know?
Child: I don’t know!
Me: Nevermind. [I wonder how my brilliant child can know absolutely nothing at this moment.] Well, I think taking the toy from him will make your brother sad. Do you like to make him sad?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: [Audible sigh.]
Child: He makes me sad all the time!
Me: Well, I’m getting sad right now with your attitude! [Pause, think, what would Paul Tripp do? Thinking . . . thinking . . . Man, I can't stop thinking of that mustache. This isn't working. Let's just go right to the Jesus part.] You know, Jesus wants us to love each other.
Child: I don’t know.
Me: I didn’t ask you a question!
Child: [Pause.] Can I have some fruit snacks?
Me: No, you can’t have fruit snacks. We are talking about the gospel. Jesus loves us and died for us. He wants you to love your brother too.
Child: So?
Me: So give him the toy back!

Then I lunge for the toy and the child runs away. I tell him to come back here this instant and threaten to throw the toy in the trash. I recommit myself to turning down speaking engagements on parenting.

Read the whole post, which is encouraging. A couple of lines that stood out: the quip cited by Alistair Begg: “When I was young I had six theories and no kids. Now I have six kids and no theories.” And from Kevin’s church secretary: “Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents around, and both are wrong.”

Here is Kevin’s upshot:

I just know that the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too passionate about all the rest. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say sorry when I mess up, and pray like crazy. I want them to look back and think, “I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they’re were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me and I knew they loved Jesus.” Maybe it’s not that complicated after all.

THE CHRISTMAS STORY TOLD BY PRE-SCHOOLERS

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 11:50:00 GMT

So worth the watch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ki8EcnVbd-Q

I WANT TO BE THINNER!

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 07:38:00 GMT

I am writing this guest blog after I heard an unbelievable statistic at a women’s retreat I attended this past weekend. I talked to my mom after the retreat and told her that this statistic would make a great blog post. She said that I should write a guest blog about it. She thought that my experience as a young mom and former teacher would bring a slightly different perspective.

So, what is this statistic? According to the Centers of Disease Control, 42% of first to third grade girls in America want to be thinner. That means that nearly half of all six to ten year old girls wish they were thinner. I was completely taken aback when I first heard this statistic.

As I mentioned before, I am a former teacher. I did not, however, teach elementary school. For six years, I taught seventh, eighth, and ninth grade. As a middle and high school teacher, I was used to dealing with girls who had body issues. These issues were expressed in all sorts of ways: makeup, super baggy or super tight clothing, piercings, tattoos (you’d be surprised by how many high school students have them), etc. I tried my best to combat these body issues, but as a teacher who saw these students for 45 minutes per day, I could only do so much. What I failed to realize, however, was just how early some of these issues took root.

I nearly cried after hearing how many little girls wish they could change their bodies. These are little ones who are just blossoming into an understanding of themselves and they have already found something in which to be dissatisfied. Where have we, as parents, teachers, and a society, failed these girls?

I am sure most of us are aware of just how body conscious our society is. We have dolls like Barbie that are held up as the epitome of beauty, but if Barbie was a real woman, she would be well over six feet tall, have a 19 inch waist, and would be missing a few ribs and several feet of intestines (On a side note, some parents were recently outraged that Mattel made a collector’s edition Barbie that had tattoos. Really? We are outraged by tattoos but not the fact that Barbie’s head and waist would have to be the same circumference if she were real?). We are constantly told we need to wear make up to make us look older or younger, depending on our age. We are implored to buy certain types of jeans or undergarments that will smooth away any imperfections we might have. How can we as parents and teachers combat this? What can we say to our little girls that will act as a counter-balance to all of these images?

For starters, we must teach our children about what God says about our bodies. Genesis 1:27 says “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” We need our children to know that we are the very image of God! 1 Samuel 16:7 says “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” We need our children to know that God is chiefly concerned with our heart, not our appearance! Lastly, for our girls, Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Our girls need to know that charm and beauty can be taken away, but walking with the Lord will always be praised!

I know that at the age of 28, I am by no means an expert in this, or any, field. My hope is that I will be able to learn from others so that by the time I am dealing with my own teenage children, I will have some wisdom to pass on.

Letting God Rule Your House

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:06:00 GMT

I recently asked Brandon Maddux to write an entry for our Champs Blog! Most of you may not know but Brandon is currently attending Life Pacific College, he will be graduating in 2013 with a Bachelor's in Christian Ministry. He believes God has called him to be a Children's Pastor. I look forward to sharing more insight from Brandon in the days to come!

If you pay attention to the news much, you will generally hear two types of governments mentioned. These government systems are democracies and monarchies. Like seen in America, a democracy is where the people rule and as seen in countries like Dubai a monarchy is where a one person rules (a kingship). Your family will often reflect one of these systems of government.

First, and very often found in the family is a monarchy. Previously, in the 1950’s this would have been the father leading the family and making the decisions. As times have changed the father has ruled the house hold less and less, replaced by the kids. In America, most families are run by the kids and what the kids desire. Mom runs 24/7 trying to get kids to soccer practice, get them to the video game store and convince them to do homework. Dad works overtime so he can afford the soccer cleats, the video game system, and new clothes for school that the kids demand. At the end of the day Dad and Mom don’t have time to read their Bible and they don’t have the energy to invest in a relationship with God.

Next, we can take a look at a democracy. When both the parents try to rule the house and let the kids have their input everyone tends to take sides. The house quickly becomes a hostile place as everyone is fighting to make a point. Taking a “family vote” tends to turn into a family argument (at least it often did in my house). Thankfully, these two systems are not the only options.

3,000 years ago in Israel there was a very different government system. Instead of one person taking charge, they was a theocracy. A theocracy is a government where God rules, were God has the ultimate authority. When a decision needs to be made, you don’t take up a vote, you seek the Lord.

You can make your house a theocracy. You can put the focus back on God in your house and do only what God wants you to be doing. However, it takes everyone actively investing in a relationship with God. In Israel, when there was a theocracy, God put judges to be leaders to the people. You (the parents) are the “judge” in your house, but it is your responsibility to lead your house in the way that God desires, not by how you feel or what your kids want. You have to be willing to doing everything it takes to follow God, and be an example to the rest of your family.

Here are some simple examples of how our mindset can change so our houses can be under God’s rule:

- Instead of allowing your kids to make decisions based off what they want, you and them both spend time in prayer and decide based off of what God’s will is.

- Instead, of reacting to your children’s disobedience with anger you take a moment in prayer and act in the way God desires.

- Instead of spending your entire day driving your kids around, you spend your entire day focused on and worshiping God, which might include taking your kids places.

Before you get excited about this, let me assure you, allowing God to rule your household is not gonna be easy. The Israelites struggled with having a theocracy. Countless times they failed and turned away from God. They had a very rough time. However, if you do push through and keep God at the head of your home, he will bless you for following him.

“Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart”

- Psalms 119:2 ESV

THE SLEEP OVER DILEMA

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:41:00 GMT

Here is a link to a great article for parents trying to decide if they should allow their child to have or attend a sleepover!

Pass it on!

http://www.pluggedin.com/familyroom/articles/2008/sleepoverdilemma.aspx

A child's Literal Translation

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 13:53:00 GMT

In Sunday School one morning a child raised his hand and proceeded to ask a question that had perplexed him for some time.

"Teacher," said the little boy, "there's something I can't figure out. According to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea,right?"

"Right."

"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er, right."

"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"

"All that is right, too," the teacher agreed, "So what's your question?"

"What were all the grown-ups doing?"

SILENT SERMON

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 17:21:00 GMT

This story was recently shared with me via email and when I read it I was stuck by how this story is a perfect argument for “community” and how we are better together! It also supports one of my favorite quotes; “Preach the gospel, if necessary use words.” Francis of Assisi

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher decided to visit him.

It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his preacher's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace...and waited.

The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone; then he sat back in his chair, still silent.

The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.

Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The preacher glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the preacher reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon; I will be back in church next Sunday.'

We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken.

A Parent's Challenge

Mon, 30 May 2011 23:37:00 GMT

Your children represent eternal souls in need of salvation, and you have a part in ensuring that they know God.

by Jim Mhoon

I remember the moment when, as a young father, I awoke in the middle of the night and realized, my little girl is completely dependent on me to provide for her needs. At the time, I was 24 years old and barely getting by paying bills and learning about life.

My anxiety grew with another thought: She is an eternal soul who must come to know God to know everlasting life. Am I up for this? What have I done?

That is the ultimate question for all parents. Our children have eternal souls in need of salvation, and we have a significant role in ensuring they know and love God. Many parents clearly grasp this reality.

But many other parents don't seem to understand the eternal questions regarding their children. Their actions are passive and distracted. They cannot articulate how or what they are doing to ensure their children know God. They abdicate responsibility for spiritual training to their church (as though an hour a week in Sunday school will do the trick). In short, they lack a vision for their children and have failed to prepare them for the future.

Looking ahead

Parents must establish a vision for their children. When children are adults, who will they be? Will they serve God? Will they have the capacity to love others? Will they be equipped to pass on a spiritual legacy?

There was a time when parents understood the stakes. They knew they were establishing a legacy of faith that would live for generations, eventually encompassing thousands of people in their family tree. Today, I fear we've lost the perspective of time and tend to view our lives only in terms of our immediate family and personal ambitions.

Perhaps that's why we have an epidemic of divorce, fathers abandoning their families and parents who prioritize only those things that offer their children a competitive advantage in life. Here's my challenge to parents: Teach your children the laws of God as commanded in Deuteronomy. Train them as instructed in Proverbs. Lead them to fulfill God's Commandments; call them to the Great Commission.

To do so, first capture a Godly vision for your family then aggressively pursue His call on your lives.

Where to start:

Passionately commit yourself to God.
Teach your children to develop healthy relationships with other people. If you want your children to possess good relationship skills, you must provide them with a model. The best model is your marriage. Even with all the evidence on the negative effects of divorce on children, divorce rates continue to rise. Even more distressing is that the divorce rate among Christians is no different than from unbelievers!
Discipline. Here's what Dr. Dobson says in his book The New Dare To Discipline:

When properly applied, loving discipline works! It stimulates tender affection, made possible by mutual respect between a parent and a child. It bridges the gap which otherwise separates family members who should love and trust each other. It allows the God of our ancestors to be introduced to our children. It permits teachers to do the kind of job in classrooms for which they are commissioned. It encourages a child to respect other people and live as a responsible, constructive citizen.

Introduce your children to the Savior. The reason God commands parents to teach their children His laws is because nobody can reflect God's love and purpose to children better than their parents. Attending church, Sunday school and youth camp are important parts of a family's faith experience, but they are no replacement for parents who follow Christ and intentionally disciple their children to know Him.
Prepare your children to become influencers in the world. While it's easy to focus on the financial benefits of a good education, we've often lost sight of God's priority. God does not call us to riches (although some of us may become rich); rather He calls us to service. When your children enter the marketplace as accountants, stay-at-home moms, soldiers or building contractors, they need to know their occupation is wrapped in their ultimate calling: to be ambassadors for Christ.
Call other parents into action on behalf of their families. Encourage, coach and equip others to parent well. Busy families struggle to find time for every expectation thrust upon them these days. The good news is you cannot go wrong praying with your family. Nor can you fail when teaching them Scripture or life skills. The trick is to prioritize your parenting responsibilities, then be as intentional as you can.

MORE GOD ~ LESS CRIME- By Chuck Colson

Fri, 13 May 2011 21:15:00 GMT

The Evidence is There

May 10, 2011

In 1993, I received the Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion at an award ceremony in Buckingham Palace. I represented the thousands upon thousands of Prison Fellowship volunteers and staff who are offering the hope of new life in Christ to prisoners around the world.

I was honored to stand next to Prince Philip when he gave me the medal. We were surrounded by dignitaries. Then the Prince asked me, “Mr. Colson, what can we do about juvenile crime here in England?” I told him: “Send more young British children to Sunday school.” He smiled, thinking I was joking. I think I shocked some of the dignitaries, who no doubt thought I was being a bit cheeky.

I was deadly serious. I told the Prince, “Professor Christie Davies at the University of Reading conducted a study that showed when Sunday school attendance was highest in England, crime was lowest. Conversely, when Sunday school attendance declined, the crime rate increased.” So I said to him, “Send young boys to Sunday school so they can be taught the basics of Christian morality.”

“Pretty good idea!” Prince Philip replied.

A pretty good idea, indeed. And it’s an idea that is being proved right again and again. In yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, the eminent social scientist James Q. Wilson reviewed Baylor professor Byron Johnson’s new book, More God, Less Crime.

In researching his book, Johnson looked for every study “that measured the possible effect of religion on crime” published between 1944 and 2010. In case you were wondering, there were 273 of them.

Wilson noted that according to 90 percent of those studies “more religiosity resulted in less crime.” While Wilson cautioned that a lack of statistical controls makes these numbers hard to evaluate, Wilson wrote that the sheer number of studies showing the positive effect on religion offsets their potential weaknesses in methodology.

Wilson, the preeminent man in the field, pointed to a landmark 1986 study conducted by Harvard economist Richard Freeman, who found that “going to church is associated with substantial differences in how young men behave. More churchgoing, less crime, less alcohol and fewer drugs.”

And, Wilson suggests, among studies of actual prisoners the “strongest results” come from Prison Fellowship, particularly Johnson’s own study of our InnerChange Freedom Initiative in Texas.

When you compared a group of similar Texas prisoners to the InnerChange Freedom Initiative graduates, you see that after two years the post-release re-incarceration rate is 8 percent for our graduates against 20.3 percent for the matched comparison group.

These results, and the mountain of evidence showing that religion makes a difference, are enough for great scholars like Wilson to take notice.

Unsurprisingly enough, it’s not enough for many of our secularist, academic elite. Johnson was dismissed some years ago from the University of Memphis because his research on crime and religion -- and his Christian views -- meant that he “simply didn’t fit in.”

But what Johnson’s book More God, Less Crime shows so clearly, is that we’ve been right all along: The Gospel changes lives, and it’s the best hope for keeping men and women out of prison.

The evidence is clear, and it’s a great testimony. We just need eyes to see it.

Something to be learned and Reminded of in the Royal Wedding Sermon

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 15:21:00 GMT

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I want to share the text of the Sermon spoken at the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine today. There are so many profound truths in this message, I believe we ALL need to be reminded of what we said yes to (if you are married). The first quote is powerful in it's own right! The prayer written by the couple should be echoed by all of us!

The Bishop of London's Sermon

29th April 2011

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its center beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practice and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Offerings, Sacrifice, Rebellion & Rejection

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 09:22:00 GMT

I was reading in 1 Samuel 15 today. Our Growth Journal reading skips this chapter but when I began to read 1 Samuel 16 I wanted to know how Samuel got to where he was at, so I went back and read 15. I was so glad that I did. In reading that chapter all I could hear in my head was Pastor Marty saying, “Wow, that will PREACH!” I’m not going to write out the entire chapter or even the verses that struck me, however, I do want to share some thoughts that I believe relate to our parenting first and foremost and most likely how we simply do life. If you only have time to read a portion of that chapter and not the entire thing, read verses 20-23.

Here is the recap: Obedience is better than sacrifice, submission is better than offering, rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols! Wow! Don’t know about you, but that is enough words from God that will keep me on my toes for a VERY long time.

As parents we want our children to obey. Why? Because we are the parents and we say so! No! I believe we want them to obey because we know what is best for them. We are older, wiser and have more experience right? So we spend our time working on getting them to obey us, hopefully in the process their obedience turns into submission as a result of their heart being captured. Their heart being captured is because of how they receive our love for them. Do you see the connection? Are you already asking yourself the same questions about how you respond to the Lord? I was when I read this. Why is it hard for me to obey the Lord? Have I moved to submission out of receiving God’s extravagant love for me? If I can answer yes to this question (at least most of the time, none of us is perfect for sure) then I know that is what I have modeled to my children.

Are you struggling with rebellion in your children? It doesn’t really matter what age they are, we are born that way. Honestly we just want what we want when we want it and how we want it and we don’t do delayed gratification so it really becomes ugly! God says rebellion is a sinful as witchcraft. He doesn’t say rebellion is witchcraft; it is on the same playing field. Ouch! Rebellion comes out of the lack of submission; lack of submission comes out of not understanding that obedience is for our own good! It is for our protection. Stubbornness is like worshiping idols! That is another Ouch! I know I can be stubborn, as I’m sure you can too.

The fruit does not fall far from the tree…I’m just say’ in! What are you modeling to your children, your spouse, co-workers, those you co-labor in service with at church? I don’t know about you, but I am challenged this morning to do a “heart” check. Am I still obeying? Am I surrendered in submission to the One who loves me beyond what I could ever comprehend or articulate? What do I still rebel against? Where have I dug my feet in and refused to do or say or act on? I think if we can answer these questions honestly (look in the mirror, what are we reflecting), and begin to live in surrender and submission out of receiving God’s love for us, that will begin to trickle down to our children and others and we will begin to see a difference in their behavior, actions and most of all their hearts!

RAIN GUTTER CLOGGING!

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 09:19:00 GMT

This past Sunday it rained somewhere between 6-7 inches in the Santa Clarita Valley. After church I went to lunch with a dear friend so I did not get home until 3:30pm. As I pulled in the driveway and opened the garage door I was greeted with standing water throughout the garage. Dan had just arrived home as well, after running errands on his way home from church.

I ran into the house and told Dan we have a flood in the garage. Over the next hour or so, after determining that the water was coming in from our side yard (which had some pretty deep standing water) we went to work, in the pounding rain to correct the problem and sweep out the water in the garage.

The culprit was a clogged rain gutter at the roof of the house blocking the flow of water to another gutter running vertical that goes down the side of our house to a drain that flows under our house and out to the street. All I could think about was the tips you are told about in the fall to clean your rain gutters around your houses so when the winter comes you will not have any problems. Well clearly we did not follow those tips.

As we swept out the garage, picked up things that were getting soaked on the floor (fortunately our garage is fairly organized but we get lazy and don’t put things away and there were definitely things to put away) took out as many beach towels as we had to make a line in our garage keeping the water flowing in a specific direction (our garage floor is not level so we found out) I could not help but think about the passage of scripture in Matthew, talking about building your house on the rock, so that when the storms come it will not be knocked over, demolished, wiped out…you get the point. The bigger picture that stood out was the clogged rain gutter!

Rain gutters are put on our houses to keep the flow of water from doing damage to the inside and outside of our homes. I had to ask myself the question, what is clogging my rain gutter that keeps me from hearing the voice of God, or keeps me from flowing in the power of the Spirit when the storms come? Is it fears, is it the need to control what is around me, is it complacency, or perhaps too much ambient noise?

While I am still asking God that question and making some course corrections (laying down the beach towels to direct the water where we wanted it to go) I realize that many of us probably could say the same thing or ask the same questions. Our house (our lives) are built on the “Rock”, but can we say that our rain gutters (our minds, heart) are not clogged? If the answer is yes, they are clogged, take some time to ask God what is the culprit, make the course correction and be freed up!

Pastor Julie

TIME FOR SOME FUNNIES!

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 00:30:00 GMT

Why Go to Church?

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church:
(1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"

The Picnic A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

Show and Tell

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object that represented their religion to share with the class.
The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a casserole."

Goat for Dinner The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "

AS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY , WE WILL SERVE THE LORD

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 08:51:00 GMT

This morning I was reading in Joshua 24, where the Lord's covenant is being renewed with the tribes of Israel. As usual I was smiling at the timing of the reading of this chapter in comparison to our recent Family Meeting on February 27th. Here are a few thoughts of what I think God is continuing to speak.

Joshua, in verse 14 speaks; "
So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone."

Today’s application: With my whole heart I will serve the Lord, I will not turn to things like, T.V., Movies, Facebook, shopping, video games, eating, internet, food, my friends, Etc; when I am feeling like the world is caving in on me and I can’t seem to find a break. Whatever I run to first other than God to bring comfort to my feelings of being overwhelmed I will put away!

Result: When I run to God, to His word to remind me of who He is and what He has done in my (secret history with Him) life, it causes my “roots” to go down deep into his truth and love.

Verse 15; “But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”

Today’s application: Every time I cannot see “good” that God has planned, or is in the process of doing, when I focus on the circumstances before me, I realize I am looking backwards at the wrong thing. Has God promises been true? Has God been faithful every step of the way? Has the God who loves me given me victory?

Result: Making a stand for me and my family to serve the Lord, ALWAYS brings victory. Perhaps not in the time I prefer, but in God’s timing because He never makes mistakes.

Verse 16-18; The people replied; “We would never abandon the Lord and serve other gods. For the Lord our God is the one who rescued us and our ancestors from slavery in the land of Egypt. He performed mighty miracles before our very eyes. As we traveled through the wilderness among our enemies, he preserved us. It was the Lord who drove out the Amorites and the other nations living here in the land. So we, too, will serve the Lord, for he alone is our God.”

Today’s application: Pruning unto Growth! That was the word Pastor Marty shared with us at the Family Meeting. I for one do not like being pruned! Not for one moment. It is painful and discouraging at times. Yet, I alone am the only one who can make the right choice. What will my response be? Will I keep my eyes focused on who God is, on the miracles he has done in my life and my family’s life? (Seriously there are so many it would take pages to recount them!) Or will I quickly turn away at the first sight of trouble (the enemy) by taking matters into my own hand’s, make poor choices that will ultimately bring death to the situation? Or will I say like the tribes of Israel,” I WILL SERVE THE LORD, FOR HE ALONE IS MY GOD?”

Result: Allowing God to be my strength, to be strong, in my weakness (II Cor. 12:7b-10) is the WIN I need. It allows me to participate in God’s plan for transforming our world and ourselves. I become a stronger Disciple of Christ, boasting about God’s faithfulness and power in spite of me.

Sharing the Gospel with Your Kids

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:31:00 GMT

Here is a great article written by Tom Schultz (Children's Ministry Magazine) about sharing the word of God with your kids.

by Thom Schultz

Many Christian parents face a paradox: How can some children hear the good news of the Bible and believe, while others hear the same message and remain unaffected? While the process of faith may be miraculous, it is not entirely mysterious. Jesus explained it in His parable of the sower (Matthew 13:1-23). Teaching received without understanding kills the yield. Faith with shallow roots withers and dies. Distractions, worries and desires for other things choke the Word. But one who hears the Word and understands it bears fruit.

How can we help our children receive the Word and bear fruit? Jesus' parable inspires several practical planting tips.

Focus on understanding. Many parents and teachers attempt to impart faith primarily through the transfer of Bible facts. Those seeds will not likely take root unless kids truly understand the meaning of the facts. Sunday school worksheets often use fill-in-the-blanks and word puzzles to drill children on their factual knowledge. But unscrambling the word forgiveness in a puzzle is far less important than understanding the meaning of forgiveness. Hearing is not enough. Reading is not enough. Memorizing is not enough — unless your goal is to produce a Bible "Jeopardy" champion. Concentrate your time on helping kids really understand God's Word, its relevance today and how you apply it.

Let them experience the message. People remember and are affected by vivid experiences. When Jesus wanted His disciples to learn about servanthood, He got down on His knees and washed their feet. You can be sure those disciples never forgot that faith lesson! You can do the same with your children. For example, to help them experience the concept of grace, involve your family in giving to others without expecting anything in return. Or to encourage kind words as mentioned in Ephesians 4:29, invite family members to write or draw a kind note to one another. (For more ideas on teaching through experiences, visit Heritage Builders.)

Use teachable moments. Typically, when your kids are enveloped in emotion-packed situations, they are the most ready to grow. When circumstances provoke feelings of fear, sadness, anger, exhilaration, awe or wonder, be prepared to help them see how God is working. When Johnny is scared may be the opportune time to teach about God's presence. Jesus took advantage of teachable moments often, such as during the storm on the lake and with those who threatened to stone the adulterous woman.

Reinforce for long-term retention. Some information we quickly forget. Other things we remember a lifetime. We can help move more of God's message into long-term memory through "interval reinforcement," review or use of the message repeatedly over time. If the brain registers information just once, less than 10 percent of the message is likely to be remembered after 30 days. But if there are six exposures to the information over 30 days, 90 percent of the message is likely to be retained. If you want your kids to understand God as Creator, repeat the message frequently — when you drive through the mountains, when you witness a sunset, when you visit the zoo and when you marvel at the intricacy of the human body.

Avoid bribes. Many well-intentioned parents and teachers attempt to grow their kids' faith through the enticement of rewards. "Learn this verse and get a ribbon." "Go to Sunday school and get a cookie." It may seem harmless, but bribing kids actually sets up a distraction. The "do this and get that" approach causes kids to focus more on the "that" than the "this." Jesus never said, "If you do unto others what you want them to do to you, you get a lollipop," or "If you feed My sheep, you get a Twinkie."

Employ delight. Your kids will learn more when they enjoy the process. Make learning about God fun! Some parents and teachers wince at this suggestion. Few people gain a love for anything that is marinated in drudgery. No one ever accused Jesus of being dull or boring. In fact, consider His first miracle: turning water into wine for the wedding at Canaan. And remember how He told Peter to find cash for the temple tax — go catch a fish and pull a coin from its mouth. Delightful! So, make faith learning delightful.

Jesus concludes His parable: "The one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown" (Matthew 13:23). What crop are you plotting with your kids?

God Fearing

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:30:00 GMT

On January 25th I was reading my Bible and doing the growth journal. After writing down my thoughts I realized this was yet another moment where God was speaking to me and I needed to share it with all of you.

As you read this please remember this is what "I" took away from what I read and how "I" concluded what was being said. I do not proclaim to be a theologian by any means, I do believe that the Holy Spirit highlights the words to each of us on a individual basis for that moment in time. Sometimes that moment relates to others and for days or weeks or months.

If this speaks to you, take it, run with it, apply it, take action on it! If it doesn't, you can say, oh that is nice and move on! (this is written directly from my growth journal on the 25th)

G-
Genesis 42:15-20- This is the story of Joseph and his brothers - he recognizes them - calls them spies and swears on the life of Pharoh and instructs them on how he will test them. He throws them in prison for 3 days. He clearly goes and seeks God for direction after reacting to his brothers. In verse 18 Joesph tells his brothers that he has sought direction from God and changes what he had said earlier. He lets all of them go but 1 (instead of keeping all but one).
R-
I doubt this is truly the interpretation but it strikes me that Joseph reacted to his brothers initially, he did not respond. He spoke out of the flesh. I see it in him using Pharoh to sear on once he throws them in prison for 3 days- he must have gone and sought God, he comes back and says he is a God fearing man - he changes his test leaving one and sending the rest. He fears God not man- would they doubt him or his leadership because he changed the test - God has mercy on them.
O-
Am I willing to change course - seek God even after I have reacted on the fly? Doing what God says brought about healing of a family through Joseph. He could have done it his way out of anger and hurt but...Joseph feared God.

W-
I will be willing to bring course correction by God's direction even if I have to take back my words and give a different response -lead differently, parent differently, in my marriage, etc.

AM I REALLY TEACHABLE?

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:19:00 GMT

Keeping in line with my last post, I remain in this place of asking the question "am I teachable?" Have I been a parent for so long or a leader for so long, that I am no longer teachable?

Teachability is not so much about competence and mental capacity as it is about attitude. It is the desire to listen, learn, and apply. It is the hunger to discover and grow. It is the willingness to learn, unlearn, and relearn. I love the way legendary basketball coach John Wooden states it: “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

If we stop learning, we stop leading. We stop leading our children and those we want to disciple. But if we remain teachable and keep learning, we will be able to keep making an impact. We will continue to grow as parents, spouses, leaders if we keep expecting and striving to learn.

We should ask ourselves, “Am I really teachable?”

It’s been said: all the good advice in the world won’t help if you don’t have a teachable spirit. To know whether you are really open to new ideas and new ways of doing things, ask yourself the following questions:

Am I open to other people’s ideas?
Do I listen more than I talk?
Am I open to changing my opinion based on new information?
Do I readily admit when I am wrong?
Do I observe before acting on a situation?
Do I ask questions?
Am I willing to ask a question that will expose my ignorance?
Am I open to doing things in a way I haven’t done before?
Am I willing to ask for directions?
Do I act defensive when criticized, or do I listen openly for truth?

If you answered no to one or more of these questions, then you have room to grow in the area of teachability. Softening our attitude, learning humility and checking our attitude daily is a great way to continuing growing!

“Everything we know we learned from someone else!” - John Wooden.

I hope you will all join me in wanting to be teachable and continuing to grow daily! I for one do not want to become stagnant or worse yet, "a know it all!"

Pastor Julie