Yesterday I went to an AA meeting with a friend from church to give him a cake to celebrate 3 years of sobriety and sanity.

It was an amazing experience. I LOVED being there. As I listened to men and women some less than 30 days sober and some more than 30 years share about keeping it simple, I could relate.

Their issues are my issues. The things that haunt them, haunt me. I am not an addict, but I am broken. There was common ground in our brokenness AND our desire to learn to live differently.

Learning to Keep It Simple,

Pastor Zack

We have $5 Starbuck gift cards to give to the first 10 men who email us a testimony at ADVANCE@TheSanctuaryChurch.com of a Meaning Adjacency in their life.

Please limit the testimony to about 500 words so it can be posted on the ADVANCE Taking Ground blog. To understand more about Meaningful Adjacencies, listen to the podcast from the Men’s Saturday event on January 28^th.

The Taking Ground blog will help you stay informed and connected to other men who are moving forward in becoming more like Jesus.

ADVANCE Men Moving Forward. Saturday, January 28^th, 8:30-10:30AM

Life is a journey with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, victory and defeats. This Journey is lived best when lived with others. 

If you’re a male 7^th grade and older, join us for our first event of the year which will include delicious breakfast and a significant discussion by Mark Henderson on Meaningful Adjacency. The term was coined after 9/11 for the random and arbitrary relationships of the victims. Check out a short video on Facebook for more info. http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/ADVANCE-at-The-Sanctuary/127420957327939. 

The cost is $5. You can pay at the door. 

Men 24 years and younger and 70 years and older are FREE!

The majority of us truly desire to be the best men we can be: to excel at work, to be good providers, to connect with our wife and children if we're married and to be a good friend to those around us. 

We are deliberate about about keeping our job skills honed. We plan for financial success by reading books and speaking with financial planning experts. We go to counseling and read books to teach us how to relate to those closest to us in successful and healthy ways. But are we as intentional about being the best men we can be in the area of our spiritual life?

This past Sunday, Matt while doing the Growth Journal interview said that his wife said he is a better man because of meeting with his Growth Group.

We want to be the best men that we can be, but do we associate meeting with other men to discuss what God has said to us though reading and writing on scripture as a means to grow in being better men?

Be the best man you can be by finding a Growth Group partner or two to process life together in light of scripture.

Proverbs 27:17  As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Faith is the key to unlock God’s perspective in our lives

Romans 5: 1-12 -- vs 1-2  Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

As we believe in something that is truth, but not easily seen, everything changes for us. We go from estranged to beloved. We instantly move from enemy to friend of God. It’s through faith that a seemingly magical world of love, acceptance, forgiveness, confidence, joy and privilege are our new home. In the time it takes to say, “Yes, I believe” we are transported to a new world … a new kingdom – the Kingdom of God.

The difficulty is that we are there and we are here. We are friends of God living in a world that hates him. Through faith, we are his beloved children who have been brought into a place of undeserved privilege in spite of our undeservedness. As I look at my life, actions, and attitudes, my unworthiness can be overwhelming. I can become consumed with the horrors of my heart.

I can think, "It must have been a mistake or a quick visit to a place of love bringing temporary reprieve from the evil of this world and the evil within me. My undeserved privilege was a get-out-of-jail card with an expiration date."

To maintain our position, we must maintain faith in God’s gift. We receive His unbelievable gift through faith and thus when we cease to live by faith it makes perfect sense to disbelieve the unbelievable gift. Why would anyone in His “right mind” make an enemy a friend as God has done with those who believe in His Son? Why would He bestow undeserved privilege on me who is so undeserving? And thus I am quickly overwhelmed by my lack instead of overwhelmed by his sufficiency.

Faith is believing in his sufficiency. To see Him in his love, acceptance, and power rather than consumed with the evil in and around me. Faith is looking up when my tendency is to look in. Introspection, at best, can keep me humble, but it will never set me free. Freedom is found in the One who is greater than me, but for me. Freedom is a way of life only as I live a life of faith. 

While watching one of the many programs about the ten year anniversary of 9/11, we saw the beautiful memorial park that would open on that day. In the center of the park are two massive waterfalls that sit in the exact footprints of the towers that fell. A massive bronze plaque surrounds each waterfall and carved into it are the names of every victim that died in those towers.

A problem arose when the task of placing the names of almost 3000 people into the memorial began. They could not be placed randomly or even alphabetically. Many people who died had some relationship with others around them - like working on the same floor or for the same company. Others were relatives; two couples were engaged to be married. There were the two planes that hit the buildings, the people in the planes were relatives or co-workers or fellow passengers.

So, through much contact with surviving family members, relatives, friends, and companies, every name was placed with a meaningful adjacency to every name around it. This took almost a year to complete.

The importance of this was paramount as this would be the final resting place for over a thousand people who were never found.

As I reflected on this, I could not help but think of all the people that God “places” in our lives. Do we find our proximity to others random? If we are people of purpose then perhaps we should see a meaningful adjacency in all those we come into contact with. If we have an eternal mindset then we believe these people will spend eternity in one of two places – heaven or hell.

It’s hard to believe God would be random or arbitrary about anything, much less the people he places in our lives. He lives in the eternal, He see’s the future, He plans meaningful adjacencies!

      The first thing to teach your kids about money is that it’s only green paper. It’s required for existence in society, but cannot buy love, friends or happiness.  And, they will not take it with them after their life is over.

     2. It’s your responsibility
In a poll of parents by the website www.ivillage.com, 65% stated their own parents had taught them nothing about money. This would explain a portion of the current debt crisis. It is your responsibility to mentor your kids in the important facts of life. Money stands tall on that list.

3.    3. Younger kids and money
Kindergarten-age children are fascinated with money. Isn’t it refreshing to see a person get truly excited over a nickel? Teaching a child this age about money also comes with the extra benefit of learning math skills. Introduce to him all of the different valued coins. Have him count and divide them. He will never tire of this game!

4.         4. Give an allowance
When you feel your kids are at an appropriate age, have them start earning their own money. Nothing teaches children the value of a dollar like having to work for it.  And, they can start saving up their allowance to purchase items they want instead of bugging you for it!

5.       5.  The shopping spree
It might sound peculiar, but allow your kids to go on a shopping binge with their saved-up allowance. Most likely they will blow what they have very quickly. This will lead to the discovery that what they purchased were items they aren’t even sure why they wanted. This will teach the valuable lesson of spending money wisely.

6.     6. Use online resources
The website http://www.moneyinstructor.com/ is a fantastic site for parents and teachers. It features lessons, worksheets, games and many other helpful tools to teach children. You are paying that monthly internet fee, so put it to good use!

7.         7.  Emphasize interest
Albert Einstein once called interest the eighth wonder of the world – it’s so powerful.  Encourage your children to open a savings account to accrue “free money.”  And, on the flip side, show your kids how much more they’ll have to pay for anything they might borrow money for in the future.

8.        8. Common sense
Scott Reeves of Forbes magazine writes, “If you can teach your child the difference between needs and wants, how to budget and how to save, your child will know more than many adults.” Proper money management is basically just good common sense and keeping greed in check.

9.        9. Big decisions
A great idea is to allow the whole family to be a part of major family purchases. The family vacation, buying a new car and purchasing a new washer and dryer are a few examples. Give everyone in the family an assignment to research. Compare costs, quality reviews and the most bang for the buck. This will be fun and a terrific real-life money management experience.

10.  10. Counter-influence
We live in a consumer-based economy. Our current system only works when people spend great deals of money.  We also have to contend with the daily bombardment from all angles of advertising. Children are encouraged from the earliest ages to want and to spend. You must counteract this influence by providing the skills for a properly balanced life and that starts by you showing the rare jewel of contentment.

The movie, Courageous, opens this weekend. It looks good and it's got a message we can relate to -- Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. As law enforcement officers, they face danger every day. Yet when tragedy strikes close to home, these fathers are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, and their faith. From this struggle will come a decision that changes all of their lives.

Whether you're a dad or not, give a friend a call and head to the theater.

Here's what one recent guy said who saw the movie:

• I was invited to a preview a few months ago - went begrudgingly. It changed my life. Besides the insightful/poignant moments, one of the key aspects of the film, which I loved, was the humor. Everyone in the theater was cracking-up throughout! There are downright hilarious scenes yet the trailer fails to show them. The quality of acting also surprised me. Yes, it's not De Niro caliber, but they've finally risen to the level to where I'm not aware of budget considerations. For me, a must see.

Check out the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut0tV2NJtOY.

Have you ever thought that you didn’t have enough faith to experience victory in something? Why cant I just get this done...grrrrr… I must not have the faith?

It’s not just you, even the disciples that witnessed the miracles performed by Jesus, felt they didn’t have enough faith.

Perhaps they were trying to compare themselves to Him. I mean that’s human nature right, and from all outward appearances, He seemed like one of them. Why couldn’t they do what He did?

One day the apostles said to the Lord, “We need more faith; tell us how to get it.” (Luke 17:5)

That statement is either incredibly bold or incredibly arrogant. Maybe they thought Jesus would say “Oh, all you gotta do is run down to Home Depot and pick it up on aisle 12.” Or maybe they actually had faith to ask for more faith…

Have you noticed in Jesus’ response he didn’t answer their question? I think he would say the same thing to us today:

“Even if you had (have) faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, this mountain, this mortgage, this sickness, this divorce… May God uproot you, may God throw you into the sea.” (Paraphrased from Matthew and Luke)

I think Jesus was trying to tell His disciples, and us His current day disciples, that we already have what is needed. If we have the faith to ask for more faith, then we have that “faith as small as a mustard seed.”  Get r’ done.

If we believe that our faith in Jesus Christ will secure a place in eternity for us, well that’s a pretty big mustard seed!

“When Moses went and told the people all the LORD’s words and laws, they responded with one voice, “Everything the LORD has said we will do.” Moses then wrote down everything the LORD had said.” Exodus 24:3-4a

Children love to receive gifts. When it comes to gifts, I think most of us enjoy receiving them.

Unfortunately, adults concerns can sometimes diminish the joy of the moment. While being handed a gift, an adults mind can drift to things like, “how do I respond if I don’t like the gift?” “What is this gift going to cost me because I now owe the giver?” “Should they have bought the gift for me?” These thoughts and many others can rob both the gift giver and receiver of the power and joy of the moment.

In Luke 18:16-17 Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.  I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

Jesus throws out a very clear requirement for receiving the Kingdom of God – an individual must receive it like a child. How does a child receive a gift? Pause and think about this for 30 seconds before reading on.

Children receive things easily and quickly. They don’t analyze why the gift is being given nor how are they going to thank the giver. Remember, to the embarrassment of the parents, kids have to be taught to say, “Thank you” when something is given to them. All they’re thinking about is the gift. They’re consumed with it. For that brief moment everything in the universe stops and is subject to the gift. It’s all that exists in the mind of the child.

I tend to think Jesus is telling the adult audience to be caught by the gift of the Kingdom of God. To easily and quickly receive the gift knowing that it is given because of the goodness of the Giver rather than the receiver. That it is ours because of God’s desire to give. And then to fully receive it living boldly and confidently in light of it.

Go ahead and spend some time thinking about how kids respond to gifts. See if there are any lessons you can learn from them on how to receive the gift of the Kingdom of God.

Earlier this week, I received the call a parent never wants to get. “Weslie is hurt. There’s blood. Come to the school NOW!”

I quickly relayed the message to my wife and headed out the door. As I left the neighborhood, I distinctly remember praying, “Lord, cover whatever happened to Weslie. Pour out your grace on today. I don’t know what to expect, but I look to you for wisdom and guidance. I TRUST YOU!”

I was about half way to the school when I heard sirens and could begin to see emergency response vehicles in the road. I thought, “Oh know. What happened???

Weslie and three other student/athletes had been hit by a car trying to make a light while they were turning left to go the school. The car was hit on the passenger side at the hinge point of the front door. Their car had traveled in a 20 feet in diameter circle and ended up facing the same direction as traffic on the center median. Weslie had been the passenger in the front seat and was the closest to the impact zone.

Witnesses said that it appeared the car went through the light at about 50 mph! And there were no visible skid marks indicating a slowing prior to impact.

Miraculously, there were NO major injuries. Everyone walked away from the mangled vehicles. They ended up taking Weslie to the hospital because she had blacked out and hit her head. They did a cat-scan on her neck and x-rayed her arm for a possible break. Both came back negative – no injuries. She and the other student/athletes in the car were banged up, but very few cuts and NO major injuries. I must  say … Thank you, God!!

In reality, none of us knows what the day holds. We have no idea what will happen to us or those around us at any given point. We get up, look at our calendars and begin to “work” our plan for the day. Thankfully, God, the One who is over all (sovereign) is good and is with constantly with us.

It was ‘one of those meetings’ at work: an arrogant young man 25 years my junior (no children, limited life experience, yet walked with a swagger, skipped common civilities like smiling and saying hi, and was a know-it-all). Normally that’d be easy to bear with, except for two mitigating circumstances:

He’s a genuinely emerging leader with whom I’m obliged to cooperate.

…and he’s a Christian brother.

And so ‘it’s complicated’. I need to love him [which means I have to be patient and kind]—and I ‘know’ what to do, that there’s an extended developmental timeline-- and yet the meeting left me deeply aggravated, perturbed, and emotionally off-center. I was annoyed and not getting over it.

You ever get that way? What do you do?

Who you gonna call?

Fortunately, I’ve got a good friend who’s invested in me, a growth partner, and because of our trusting friendship, I got to experience one of the great outcomes from meeting with a trusted friend: a restoration of heart and emotion. It is a mini-case study on one of the benefits of being 1:1 with a brother in Christ.

I cannot say that we discussed anything 'that I didn't already know', and yet the encouragement of sharing emotions, affirming truths, and knowing we are unified in brotherhood and in our spirits with our Spiritual Dad, was downright transformational in my attitude and my heart.

I'm not alone in this experience. But I’ve grown to believe we will only experience it deeply if we dare to walk the Great Truths of our spiritual Father's teaching and leadership. It's part of the submission benefits package that, on the surface, sounds so weak and sheepish, but in depth, is so profound and strengthening.

And one of those great truths is that we are born to love each other. We are better together, and we need some 1:1 time.

Brougham: If you’re not yet in a growth group, go find you one! You don’t have to contract your first get-together as blood brothers for life. Just take a step, invite someone out for coffee, hang out a time or two, and see whether you guys are simpatico. And then go with someone else and do it again, and again, until you find someone with whom you well relate.

Do this. Make it happen. Get yourself a brougham to call. You’ll be glad you did.

-Dirk Mullenger, July 2011

Let’s face it; talking to our kids about sex is not easy.  It can be one of those parental responsibilities that would be easier if someone else did it.  We struggle with what to say and when to say it. We want to educate, but not too much.  They need to know things, but not too many things.

Below are 10 points to help you from a recent All Pro Dad email.

So go ahead and keep reading, then courageously plan to talk to your kids.

10 Ways to Talk to Your Children about Sex

1. Fight the fear
It’s safe to say this is not something a parent will relish talking about with their children. We all prefer to think of them as the innocent, sweet babes they once were. The mere thought of sex and your child in the same conversation strikes fear in the parental heart. Fight that fear! As scary as the topic might be, it is more frightening to think of the possible consequences of not having this discussion. This is one of those step-up-to-the-plate types of moments. Batter up.

2. Get a clue
Sex itself does not change. Nothing new has been invented. However, the language of sex is always evolving. Every generation has their own buzz words and phrases. It would benefit you greatly by making yourself familiar with these terms. Use the Internet as the great research tool it truly is. The more you understand what your child is exposed to, the better you will be able to explain the meaning.

3. Avoid negativity
This is a difficult subject for you and your child. It is natural to come across as putting sex in a negative light. That would not be healthy for the development of your child. Emphasize the importance of when, why and with whom sex should occur.  Make sure to explain that in its proper setting, sex is a wonderful and beautiful expression of love. A blessed gift.

4. Don’t patronize
In almost all cases, your child already knows most of what you are going to be talking about. This is the information age and sex is surrounding us.  Your kids talk about it with their friends already and at much earlier ages than you care to acknowledge. Talking down to your children will only make them roll their eyes and tune you out. Your job here is to give the right information on sex. Give them credit for having a working knowledge before you start.

5. Get off the pedestal
As with many issues in parenting, what you did as a child is sometimes exactly what you do not want your child to do. Everyone has done things that they regret later in life. Your child does not need to know the intimate details of what you consider mistakes. But it is important not give yourself “angel status” either. You have to be realistic with this topic. Your child is going to kiss somebody. As they age, they are going to attempt more. Your job is to run damage control. Using your past, and its consequences in some cases, is helpful in doing just that. It also builds a bond of understanding. 

6. Importance of faith
Most religions encourage sexual purity before marriage. If you are a family of faith, your child will have the benefit of this on their side. There is a growing movement in this country of “abstinence” among teens who practice religion. However, you can be secular in your beliefs and still teach your child to hold themselves to a higher standard. That cause is universal. This does not mean all teens of faith will not have sex before marriage, but it does cut down on the likelihood when taught properly. Talk to your children and make sure they are aware of what your faith teaches on the subject.

7. The emotional toll
If your child is in the public school system, they will have been taught the “birds and the bees” by the time you have this conversation. Make sure you cover that ground nonetheless just to be sure. What they will have not learned in school however, is the emotions involved in sexual behavior. When asked in a poll, one woman responded “I wish someone would have explained to me the emotional impact of these things. At 13, 14, 15, you just have no idea!” Talk to your kids about the consequences and feelings that occur after sex.

8. The risks
It is of vital importance that you explain to your children the risks involved in having sex. STD’s are rampant in society and more dangerous than ever. Abortions are more and more frequent every year. Unwanted births occur every minute. Your child must know the possible ramifications of reckless behavior.  Paint the unpleasant scenarios that can become reality for them by taking certain paths.

9. Self-esteem
Peer pressure plays a large part in the sexual development of your child. Sadly, some things are just out of your hands. Give your child the support and foundation they require.  Make sure your children view themselves as valuable. Give them the strength to stand up for what they believe. In a book on this subject, a 17-year-old girl stood up in front of her peers and declared that she was a virgin. When the laughs hurled her way, she replied “I can be like you in seconds, but none of you can be like me ever again.” That is courage.

10. Constant communication
It should not be that you have one talk about sex and never mention it again.  As stated before, sex is all around us everywhere we turn. Use that to your advantage. It doesn’t always have to be heavy conversation. Humor is a great teacher and puts everyone at ease. When the 16-year-old on Nick Teen is pregnant, quip to your daughter, “Aren’t you glad you’re not that girl?” It works.

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.   We  had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.  He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong;

He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I  loved him. He smiled slightly,  and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.

He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.  About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.

But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

Lawn mower wouldn't start, can't figure it out.

One of the questions discussed at the last Men’s Event  was about knowing that you've heard from God.

I have "practised the presence of God" for a couple of decades now and while I don't claim to have mastered this practice, I do have a pretty consistant "internal dialouge" with Him. I have come to trust that my thoughts and my instincts are pretty much in line with His will for my life. The internal dialouge guides me in all the little, almost moment to moment, decisions. Unless there is some unconfessed sin in my life (which I try my best to not allow) I trust the decisions I make to be good ones.

Years ago, I used to bounce ideas off a couple of godly men in my life for confirmation and I still have several guys that I run things by. But these days most of my confirmation comes from my wife.

In the beginning its more courage than faith. But over time you do develop an ear for the Fathers voice. Sometimes I miss, but I have found that through the years, the Holy Spirit has guided most of those decisions. I also allow myself the freedom to fail, which keeps me from walking in fear.

I believe the metal of a man is his ability to make decisions and the freedom in trusting me "internal dialogue" with God has helped me to make those decisions both large and small.

Having served his time with the Marine Corps, a man became a school teacher and before school started he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

He didn't have a discipline problem the whole year.

Resurrection Sunday was truly a celebration! We had 350 guests that came to rejoice in the living Lord.

Thanks to all who served. Ministry well done!

There was an over all sense of expectancy and readiness. We did not know who and how many would come. But we were definitely ready.

It is in this expectancy and readiness that God moves. Whether on a Sunday where we are serving or a Monday were we are living, we come expectant and ready. God WILL do the miraculous through our ordinary lives.

This past Sunday shows that there are more people interested in the resurrected Christ and that we can handle more.

Please pray for more…more people coming to Christ, more people maturing in Christ, and more people using their talents and time to build the Kingdom of God. The Sanctuary is not only a safe place for you and I to grow, but can be for so many more as well.

I am grateful to be a part of this congregation!

Pastor Zack

Last Sunday at church, the Lord spoke this message to a person in the congregation. I thought it was especially applicable in light of the Men's Breakfast the day before having to do with Being our best as God designed us. 

Being our best comes out of an intimate, personal relationship with God who loves us deeply. He wants nothing to come between our relationship with Him.

"For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" Deuteronomy 4:24.

How is it that God is jealous? The very word, "jealous," often carries a negative connotation. We are strictly warned against envy and jealousy. Yet, when the Scripture speaks of God this way, it is in the purest, most relentless way. We can never really know this kind of jealousy; for God is the only one Who has the right to be as He is the only one who is perfect in love. His jealousy is not controlling—it is releasing. He is holy jealous, passionately committed to us. God does not love us because He has to, but because He wants to. God desires us. His jealousy is an absolute intolerance of anything that would distract and divide our affection from Him and thereby cause us forfeit His best. Release to Him what holds you back from His love, His best in your life. Release the fear, the hurt, and the control. Grow and live in His passionate, relentless love.